beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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