what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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