So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
