she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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