I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
