I met the friendliest cop last night
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
