Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
