Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
