It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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