He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
