Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
