What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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