ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
