"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
