So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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