operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
