last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
