entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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