I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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