i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
