Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just invented taco cereal.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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