i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize