Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
