just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
