well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish I only lived at night.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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