great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
