I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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