I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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