You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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