She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
