ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
