did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I look better un-naked...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
