no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Lo siento on account of my penis...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
