He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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