Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
