He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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