nut hugger
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
