Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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