HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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