he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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