Someone shit on the floor
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
