I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
