if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
