i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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