Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize