I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
