Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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