you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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