Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
