I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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