If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish