Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Call meee

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...

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(603): Call meee (781): Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now... http://tfl.nu/j06g

Replies (3) Good night (1627) Bad night (409)
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(847): View more from Illinois

everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

(224): View more from Illinois

it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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(847): everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool. (224): it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you. http://tfl.nu/qam8

Replies (24) Good night (603) Bad night (3502)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

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(604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh

Replies (21) Good night (660) Bad night (6047) Order T-Shirt
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...

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(781): I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer... http://tfl.nu/rcmz

Replies (22) Good night (2766) Bad night (754) Order T-Shirt
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(719): View more from Colorado

There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.

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(719): There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night. http://tfl.nu/1i28

Replies (14) Good night (5061) Bad night (1198) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.

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(512): I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order. http://tfl.nu/zk7q

Replies (16) Good night (5654) Bad night (1295) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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(845): i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room http://tfl.nu/beeq

Replies (13) Good night (880) Bad night (3380)
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(305): View more from Florida

I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.

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(305): I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave. http://tfl.nu/m7xq

Replies (16) Good night (11595) Bad night (775)
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(208): View more from Idaho

No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes

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(208): No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes http://tfl.nu/t8pf

Replies (7) Good night (1015) Bad night (2584) Order T-Shirt
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(808): View more from Hawaii

some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday

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(808): some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday http://tfl.nu/capv

Replies (1) Good night (1607) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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(206): View more from Washington

And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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(206): And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single. http://tfl.nu/gzjy

Replies (3) Good night (751) Bad night (1117) Order T-Shirt
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(949): View more from California

Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.

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(949): Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/bc5t

Replies (14) Good night (1571) Bad night (712) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!

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(910): I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT! http://tfl.nu/3dqj

Replies (9) Good night (1489) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.

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(415): Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store. http://tfl.nu/kxjk

Replies (8) Good night (2154) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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(440): View more from Ohio

WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS

(740): View more from Ohio

BECAUSE SCIENCE

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(440): WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS (740): BECAUSE SCIENCE http://tfl.nu/5ndo

Replies (9) Good night (1266) Bad night (200)

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