Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts

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  (847): his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts http://tfl.nu/kozn
  Replies (11) Good night (4134) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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  (662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y
  Replies (34) Good night (4024) Bad night (1993)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??

  (817): View more from Texas

  dude, everything can mix, this is college.

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  (214): does wine, beer, and vodka mix well?? (817): dude, everything can mix, this is college. http://tfl.nu/mqi0
  Replies (24) Good night (6141) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  should I fuck that poor girl

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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  (770): should I fuck that poor girl (1-770): no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion http://tfl.nu/i8cj
  Replies (30) Good night (793) Bad night (4844)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.

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  (216): In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case. http://tfl.nu/3se1
  Replies (18) Good night (5204) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa

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  (601): You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa http://tfl.nu/lg9x
  Replies (33) Good night (7627) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.

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  (205): Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga. http://tfl.nu/3ybq
  Replies (13) Good night (4894) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with

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  (562): it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with http://tfl.nu/2rwe
  Replies (14) Good night (4802) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?

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  (330): not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up? http://tfl.nu/smja
  Replies (6) Good night (1132) Bad night (2987)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  I told you I'd buy you lunch.

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  (239): I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail. (1-239): I told you I'd buy you lunch. http://tfl.nu/jsln
  Replies (8) Good night (1012) Bad night (1793)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?

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  (515): Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch? http://tfl.nu/hxz0
  Replies (20) Good night (2536) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.

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  (770): Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station. http://tfl.nu/w23s
  Replies (7) Good night (1167) Bad night (794)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.

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  (978): You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone. http://tfl.nu/5mak
  Replies (23) Good night (1907) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine

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  (314): Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine http://tfl.nu/rnj9
  Replies (11) Good night (657) Bad night (1319)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.

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  (240): Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water. http://tfl.nu/b3c7
  Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (333)

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