I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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