Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?

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(303): I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow? http://tfl.nu/hnqf

Replies (12) Good night (3414) Bad night (947)
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(646): View more from New York

I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback

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(646): I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback http://tfl.nu/fcgu

Replies (22) Good night (3496) Bad night (923)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.

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(267): Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go. http://tfl.nu/5urf

Replies (26) Good night (1761) Bad night (3945)
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(720): View more from Colorado

how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?

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(720): how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot? http://tfl.nu/rnjj

Replies (17) Good night (793) Bad night (3117)
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(334): View more from Alabama

The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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(334): The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards. http://tfl.nu/c6zk

Replies (15) Good night (12849) Bad night (849)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.

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(919): Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt. http://tfl.nu/oq6j

Replies (38) Good night (4978) Bad night (896)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.

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(815): Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me. http://tfl.nu/oi7v

Replies (6) Good night (1961) Bad night (923)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick

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(608): Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick http://tfl.nu/ym1u

Replies (9) Good night (1976) Bad night (636)
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(480): View more from Arizona

In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth

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(480): In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth http://tfl.nu/2qc1

Replies (10) Good night (1522) Bad night (642)
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(443): View more from Maryland

He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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(443): He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp". http://tfl.nu/ico5

Replies (4) Good night (1909) Bad night (648)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.

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(410): Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes. http://tfl.nu/1wpu

Replies (12) Good night (1226) Bad night (576)
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(360): View more from Washington

I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?

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(360): I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years? http://tfl.nu/xhbr

Replies (3) Good night (1428) Bad night (447)
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(613): View more from Ontario

There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"

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(613): There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave" http://tfl.nu/7c09

Replies (1) Good night (1196) Bad night (451)
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(316): View more from Kansas

I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies

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(316): I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies http://tfl.nu/byyv

Replies (3) Good night (310) Bad night (187)
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(775): View more from Nevada

It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's

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(775): It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's http://tfl.nu/5kzf

Replies (1) Good night (171) Bad night (518)

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