What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
