You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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