I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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