so that wasnt chicken after all
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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