he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
