Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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