it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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