there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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