Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think my moral compass just broke
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
