How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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