wake up i wanna do it froggy style
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
