cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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