try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
